http://www.insearchofheroes.com/ blog1/ Frank Kern honored as hero at the Mass Control Seminar. He is creator of the Reluctant Hero Marketing Model…most successful marketing strategy in history.

I had grown up thinking that I was going to live the dream of the American middle class. I was going to go to college and it would be paid for. I would be able to party and have a great time like everybody who goes to college does and then go out and get a job and start my quote ?real middle class life?.

Of course, God has a way of sometimes having another plan that we didn?t anticipate. In fact, I think that someone once said that if you want to make God laugh, just tell him what your plans are. I was on my own. I was working at a radio station. I started working in the radio business when I was 14 years old.

I had some money and was able to find a place to live and so forth, but I was really lost in a lot of ways. I had fallen away from my faith in God and the things that had carried me through thus far. I didn?t have a whole lot of money and I was definitely enjoying partying and having a good time.

I came to a point where I realized, ?Boy, this is not the life that I was destined to have.? I just felt that there was something more for me and that I wasn?t living up to the potential that I had been given. Slowly I began to put the pieces back together.

Most of the credit for that goes to my wife whom I met at a young age. We met when I was 18 years old and we married shortly there after. I am fond of telling people that it has worked out for 21 years, so we think it is probably going to be okay. We think the marriage is probably going to work.

She has been a tremendous inspiration to me in my life and helped me live up to my potential. It was a struggle for a lot of years monetarily, but I moved to a bigger city and got a better job in the radio business. I began to climb the ranks in that business.

It?s interesting, something that I have found. I certainly don?t set myself up as some kind of paragon of virtue because I?m far from it, but I know this; the closer I stay to my principles, the closer I stay to the things that I know are right and true, the more I am rewarded.

That may be financially sometimes, but it can also be spiritually in the amount of peace that a person has in their life. It can also be in the amount of good that you can do in the lives of others. There really is no greater reward than to know that you made a positive difference in someone?s life.

I know that sounds Pollyannaish. I will share an experience that I had a couple of nights ago. Again, please, I hope that nobody listens to this and thinks, ?Wow, Ray is really full of himself and thinks he is such a great guy.? Trust me, I know me and I?ve got lots of room for improvement.

I just had this principle of how it is built into us to want to help other people and to feel good when we know we have. It was a simple thing. I bought some take out food from a Chinese restaurant, and I went into the restaurant to pick it up. The young lady gave me my order and I was paying.

I don?t know if you really tip in this situation. Really, all she did was bring out the bag from the kitchen to the cash register and she rang me up. I?m going to take it home so there isn?t really any service but I thought, ?I don?t know if it is right or wrong but I?m going to leave a tip.?

I?m a pretty generous tipper and that?s because of my wife too. I definitely was not a generous tipper until meeting my wife. She had a chance to work as a server in a restaurant during her college years and informed me that those folks work hard so you need to tip them.

So, I tip 20% always. Not only do I think it is the right thing to do, but I think the math is easy to do.

I left this lady a 20% tip and as I was turning to leave she stopped me and she said, ?You have no idea what this means to me.? I turned and looked back and she had tears coming from her eyes over a tip at a restaurant. She said, ?Thank you,? and I said, ?You?re welcome.?

As I left I saw that she went running to the back of the store and she was jumping up and down showing the other servers. It?s not that I think that was such a great thing that I did. My point is that you never know what things you can do, what small things you might be able to do that might mean so much to other people.

I miss your ralf. You were always kind, respectable, and fair to me. It seemed as if you were always there. There on my birthday, open and always with joy, there with tips on marigolds, popyseeds and more.

I miss you Ralf. You were a grandpa to me and I feel like you were put on earth just for me to love.

I miss you Ralf.

Second Poem

My head is spinning violently, and I know exactly why. I just can’t understand why people I love die. In my heart I know you are happy, up in heaven with your Winnie. But, if I had it my way, everything would change. You both would be down on earth, with your lovely house.

Nothing would be complicated. There would be no tears. I would not be wearing black with sound ringing in my ears. I wish it didn’t end this way. Although I think it fair that Winnie is opening the Pearly Gates for you up in the air.

So, even though it’s hard to say goodbye, I can really understand you weren’t really happy here, without your Winnie in your hands.

A stroke took you away from me, but joined you with your wife. I just want to say I’m glad I had you in my life. So, goodbye Ralf and Winnie too.

Please remember me because I’ll always remember you.

Rest In Peace Ralf and Winnie, a friend and husband, a neighbor…Here lies Ralf, finally his mind is at peace.

Yesterday I sat by his bed and had a couple of beers with him. Of course, I drank his share while I reminisced about all the funny, sorrowful and joyful times we shared over the last 59 years. I also talked about my mom who I feel is with us, just waiting to escort my dad to heaven.

Today I got up early and prayed the rosary with him. Then I had a cup of strong coffee with him. Of course, I drank his share since he cannot swallow.

It is truly a miracle on how long a person can live without food or water. With my mom dying last April 16th at 92 and my dad dying within the next couple of days at 85, I really appreciate the value of having a strong constitution.

Over the last 4 years of taking care of my dad, he had so many near death experiences and trips to the emergency ward, the EMTs got a good laugh when I told them, “My dad is the bionic man (with so many parts replaced through emergency surgeries). If there was a nuclear explosion, the only survivors would be my dad and the cockroaches.”

I also need to mention some other special people who have done a lot to bring comfort to my dad and family.

The hospice nurses are true angels and have been on duty 24 hours a day. They are so filled with compassion, light and wisdom. They have participated in the deaths of so many people, it is truly a privilege to have such kind and empathetic individuals ministering tenderly to my dad.

After my dad is gone, I will reply to each person’s email in appreciation for you taking the time to be such a wonderful inspiration and encouragement to me.

Take care,
Ralph